Success Isn’t an Entitlement
Everyone wants success. They might want it in different forms, but I’ve never met anyone who didn’t want to be successful at something in their lives. I believe everyone is entitled to pursue success; but success itself is not an entitlement.
Success is largely determined by our hard work and our choices. I know many people who work hard but make bad choices. It’s amazing how many of them think they deserve success because they feel they’ve worked hard. On the other hand, I don’t know many, if any, successful people who have made good choices but didn’t work hard.
I knew someone who was constantly lamenting her “bad luck.” She wasn’t happy with her job. Her personal life was in shambles. She was almost thirty, hadn’t completed college, and constantly had money problems. She often blamed situations or other people for the various predicaments she was in. However, the glaringly obvious truth was that although she worked fairly hard, she continually made horrible choices. One day she would complain about money; the next day she’d buy something totally extravagant and unnecessary. The following week she’d complain about not being able to get a good job while showing up to work an hour late for personal reasons.
From time to time she’d talk to me about her issues, and I’d point out the choices she made that led to her current problem. Each time she’d seemingly acknowledge the connection, but the truth is she never took ownership of the real problem: her choices. She once lamented, “Why me? I deserve better!” I didn’t offer my opinion, but what I wanted to say was, “Everyone feels like they ‘deserve better’ at some point in life. Now stop complaining, and start doing something about it!”
Working hard is only one part of success. Making good choices is the second. It truly takes both to achieve success.
As the CEO for an international business, I know the choices I make are sometimes pretty important to the business. They can impact hundreds of employees, franchise owners and associates, as well as tens of thousands of clients around the world. Years ago, I was talking to a friend about some tough decisions I had to make. He gave me some great advice. He said, “Not every decision you make has to be a good one. Just make sure you make more good ones than bad, and when you make a bad one, minimize the impact by fixing it quickly.” This squarely hits the point about working hard and making good choices.
Not long ago I was talking to someone I’ve known for years about the growth of my business and some other goals I’ve met and he said, “Man you’re lucky. It must be nice.”
I responded to him by saying “Yeah, I’m lucky; let me tell you the secret to my luck. First, I went to college for ten years. During that time, I started my own business and worked really long hours for two decades. Along the way, I mortgaged my house a couple times for the business, and I wrote five books. You can have this kind of luck, too. All you need to do is apply this kind of effort to whatever you do.”
He laughed and said, “Okay, okay, I get it!” Did he really? I don’t think so. He hasn’t changed his behavior or started making different choices. If being successful was easy, everyone would have the success he or she thinks is deserved.
For most of those two decades I mentioned above, I didn’t feel very lucky or successful. It took time, effort, hard work and adequate choices before I felt any modicum of success. The problem is that many people want to go from point A to point Z and bypass the challenges in between.
The other day I asked my nine-year-old son to quote the mantra of success I’d been teaching him. He replied, in a young boy’s slightly bored sing-song tone, “The secret to success without hard work and good choices is still a secret, Dad. Can I go out and play now?”
OK, maybe nine is a little young to start the training… but, maybe not.
Dr. Misner is the author of six books and co-author of the book, “Masters of Success” (www.MastersofSuccess.biz). He is the founder & CEO of BNI (www.bni.com), the world’s largest referral organization, with over 2,700 chapters in 13 countries around the world. He resides in Southern California with his wife, Beth, and their three children, Ashley, Cassie and Trey. Dr. Misner can be reached at misner@bni.com.
This is an excerpt from the upcoming book by Dr. Misner and Don Morgan called “Masters of Success.” This is a sequel to their New York Times best selling book “Masters of Networking.” For more information about the book, go to www.MastersofSuccess.biz.
