The Key to Getting What You Want &...
...7 Benefits that Drive Human Behavior!
Whether you want to obtain new business or selling your employees or boss on an idea, remember the universal language we all speak in is “what is in it for me.”
But here is the problem. When someone asks us to do something, we usually evaluate it and think what is in it for us. When we ask someone else to do something, we usually think about what is in it for us. That is the problem, we usually think about what is in it for us, even when the key to getting things in our life is what is in it for “the other person.”
It is remarkable how many times I have encountered people who complain about not getting something and then they will explain, “I can’t believe that person doesn’t realize how much that affects me.” Well of course we will not be persuasive if our focus is on us. In fact, we will get what we want when the other person realizes that there is something in it for them.
Want a raise? What is in it for your boss? Want someone to assist you on a project? What is in for the person? Want someone to turn in some paper work on time, turn in a time sheet on time or come to a meeting on time, think about what would be in it for the other person.
One of the top reasons why people are not as persuasive as they could be is because they are not thinking about what would be in it for the other person. In fact, it does not require so much training as it does just being more oriented to thinking of it from the other person’s position. For example, without any training, children are extremely persuasive. Why? Because they quickly realize in order to get what they want others must realize how they will benefit. Notice how children will say if you do this, “I will love you more”, “I will clean up my room,” and of course my favorite “I will stop bugging you.”
Participants in my seminars often ask me what do I do in economic times like this. My response is to do the best job you can. Nothing can give you 100% job security, but the better job you do, the less likely you are to be laid off because there is an incentive for the organization to keep you. And even if you are laid off, it will be easier to get a new job if you have done a great job.
So when you are thinking about asking someone to do something, whether in your business or personal life, think about what is in it for them and remember 7 benefits that drive human behavior--“MT. SAMIE”
- M- Money. As Zig Ziegler once said, “Money isn’t everything, but it ranks right up there with Oxygen”
T- Time. It is staggering how many people are time impoverish. For example, see if your request will help eliminate wasted time, as in repeated discussions or meetings.
S- Security. People tend to avoid risk in search of security. One example of security as leverage is job security.
A- Achievement. We like producing results. So if your request will help someone else accomplish something they have wanted to achieve; you will grab their attention. For example if your request would also help your boss achieve your boss’s goals, then you will be more likely to grab his or her attention.
M- Making a difference. People will work hard if they feel like they could really make a difference. Look what is happening in our country today. People will often help out if they feel like what they are asked to do will really make a difference. This is why I think so many organizations have a problem with paperwork. They have not explained how the paperwork requested will be used and the difference it makes.
I- Image. We are all concerned about what others think. We often just lie about it and say, “I don’t care what they think” when often we really do. The power of image is why so many of us have a hard time saying “no.” So if your request affects someone’s image, then you will likely capture his or her attention. For example someone whom you are having a lot of issues with, you might tell them how much you hear other people talking about the two of you, and so if you could just resolve the issues, it might improve the both of your images.
E- Enjoyment. People will go to great lengths to have more enjoyment in their life. Remember if you are not enjoying the situation you are currently in with someone, realize they are probably not enjoying it either. So the “what is in it for the other person” is it would make things less stressful and more enjoyable. (Children are experts at this one J)
“MT. SAMIE” is not about manipulating the other person. It is about actually respecting the other person. And rather than complaining because someone is not cooperating with us, agreeing with our point of view or giving us what we want, think and then talk about with them what might be in it for them to do what you would like. And if you are not sure, you could always ask.
Some of this may seem obvious but remember common sense doesn’t necessarily mean common practice. After all when was the last time, someone made a request of you, and told you what would be in it for you?
Remember the universal language we all speak in, it is the key to getting what you want.
“Steven Gaffney is a professional speaker and author in the area of communication, motivation and leadership.”
Copyright 2004 by Steven Gaffney and the Steven Gaffney Company.
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