Upgrading The Way You Talk To Yourself
Stubborn mental or physical diseases always have
a deep root in the subconsciousness. Illness may be
cured by pulling out its hidden roots. That is why
all affirmations of the conscious mind should be
impressive enough to permeate the subconsciousness,
which in turn automatically influences the conscious mind.
--Paramahansa Yogananda
This issue of Balance Beam is devoted to the little voice in your head. (The one that's maybe right now going, "What little voice? You crazy? There's no little voice in here!")
Yep, it's that wizard again, saying, "Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain!" It's always yackety-yacking, never stops chattering--with two exceptions: sleep or meditation. (In sleep you're unconscious so you can't hear the voice. In meditation you've deliberately turned off the voice and are acutely conscious of your own truth.)
How you talk to yourself--important? You bet. That inner monologue not only records but determines your moment-by-moment perceptions and actions. So, what if you change what the voice is saying? You'd change the way you see things and the way you respond to them. Simple as that.
CHANGING THE TALK
Changing the way you talk to yourself is usually a matter of going upstream against long-established habit. It's a lot like replacing an outdated computer program. This program, called TrashTalk, was installed long ago, who knows why?
Every time T-T kicks in it kills your joy and peace, destroys your confidence and enthusiasm, and results in your hanging back, not taking risks or going-for-it. TrashTalk was designed to keep you from being more. It's made up of a series of files called Self-Trash. Examples:
• "I'm no good at . . . "
• "I can't . . . "
• "No one likes me because . . . "
• "I'm always (late, sick, behind, etc.)"
• "I never (win, risk, feel good, succeed, relax, etc.)"
• "People don't appreciate my . . . "
• "There I go again! Stupid!"
The upgrade for the T-T program is entitled Affirmations 2K. Installing Affirmations 2K is probably not a matter of a few clicks, but a whole series of them, because the mind will resist new ideas like crazy. The procedure requires concentration. Simple but not easy.
AFFIRMATION DESIGN 101
Strong conscious affirmations react on the mind
and body through the medium of the subconscious.
Still stronger affirmations reach not only the subconscious,
but also the superconscious mind--the magic
storehouse of miraculous powers.
--Paramahansa Yogananda
1. Identify your specific TrashTalk saying by writing it down. Suppose it's "I have low energy." (Okay, so it's not your own personal favorite like, "I'm a lousy money manager," or, "I look like a complete jerk." Deal with it.)
2. Design a saying that is the exact opposite of that T-T statement. Make sure the replacement is stated (a) in the present tense, as if it's already in effect; (b) without negatives like "not" or killer words (which word in the affirmation "I am not ugly" do you think the mind remembers?) and (c) in outrageous terms.
Maybe, then, our "low energy" example would be restated: "I am flooded with energy each moment." (For auditory types, the phrase could always be mentally accompanied by the theme from "Rocky.")
3. Place your affirmation statement where you will continually come across it--bathroom mirror, fridge, planner, car dashboard, etc. Or, if you want privacy, get a series of stick-on colored dots at the stationery store, and stick them around in different places. Every time you see a dot, repeat your affirmation three times. (Repetition is the embedding process.)
FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT
Of course the mind isn't going to BELIEVE your affirmation at first. It's convinced itself the reverse is true. It has proof! So it's scandalized at this ridiculous new program. Keep right ahead. Remember, you have to embed the new statement in your subconscious. Like planting a seed and not digging it up every few days to see how it's doing. Trust the process.
To go along with your self-change affirmation, a good back-up is, "I can change the way I talk to myself. I AM changing it!"
Here's to improved and uplifting inner messages.
James Ballard is a management consultant, leadership trainer, motivational speaker, consulting partner with the Ken Blanchard Companies, and author of What's the Rush? He founded Maudala Press, a direct-mail educational publishing firm, and wrote a series of children's books and books for teachers on humanistic education. Mr. Ballard has also helped create a number of widely-used Blanchard Training and Development models including "Managing the Journey", "Leadership Training for Supervisors", "Quality-Driven Leadership", and "Everyone's a Coach".
