Everything Is Negotiable
Roger Volkema is a professor at George Washington University, the author of The Negotiation Tool Kit, and a consultant to industry. He has been a frequent guest on my show, helping us become better negotiators. I haven't written a book on the subject, but I have been negotiating in the marketplace for a long time, and two of my favorite things to do in business are teaching others about negotiating, and actually doing it.During Roger's first visit we discussed the fundamental concepts of negotiating, including this definition from his book: Negotiating is communication between two or more parties to determine future behavior. The definition I like best is the one I gleaned from our visits with Roger: Negotiating is a process of communication between two or more people or groups, who are seeking to reach an agreement. I know, you already knew all of this, but I like writing it down. There's just something about seeing the words that helps you focus on the fundamentals of an issue, so you can be a better practitioner. Let's look at a couple of these words.
Process. It is very important to focus on the process as you contemplate what it will take to conduct and finish a negotiation. Most negotiations take time. There are lots of steps. You win a battle, lose a battle. You get the picture. Definitely a process. So, by reminding yourself about the process as you enter a negotiation, you will be more patient and more effective. Remember this: Your impatience can be the other party's best trump card.
Communication. Roger reminds us that, in addition to dialogue, there are many other ways to communicate in a negotiation. Your punctuality, appearance, organization, and attention to detail, for example, all tell your opponent something. He also says you communicate even when you are not face to face, like the quality of the documents you produce and share. Never underestimate the heightened awareness of virtually everything when you are in a negotiation. The slightest nuance, gesture, or glance can mean something. And one more thing: if you notice, they notice. Make sure that all of your communication with the other party is beneficial to your negotiating objectives.
Roger suggests that there are three fundamental questions to ask yourself before you begin negotiating:
1. What do I want?
This might seem intuitive, but unfortunately, not asking yourself this question before the negotiations begin will likely create a negative result. When you are negotiating you give and you take. If you don't know EXACTLY what you want when you start, how do you know what to give and what to take? You will give up too much and get too little. You will look flaky, and the other party will either discontinue the negotiation so as not to waste their time, or they will view you as weak prey, and move in for the kill. One more thing: always assume that your opponent knows EXACTLY what he or she wants.
2. Why should the other party negotiate with me?
We're talking motivation here. You should talk to yourself about how motivated you are with regard to the anticipated negotiation, and you should do everything you can (in most cases without revealing that you are doing it) to find out how motivated the other party is. If a genie gives you one wish just prior to starting a negotiation, tell him you want to know how motivated the other party is. If you know that, you can get all of the other stuff in due time.
3. What are your alternatives?
The best way to get what you want in a negotiation is to have more than one alternative. If you have at least two sources to pursue to achieve your goals, you can be much more independent. If I could recommend one area of research that is critical before you begin a negotiation, it would be to find any alternative to the one that is your most likely solution. It doesn't have to be an exact match; a reasonable facsimile will do. Remember, by the time you find out what the other party will do, that deal may not look as good as the one that was your distant second choice. In addition to having another alternative, just knowing that you can walk away will make you a better negotiator. Whatever you do, don't fall in love with any deal. If you do, it will make your opponent's day.
Write this on a rock... EVERYTHING IS NEGOTIABLE. The question is are you a capable negotiator? Remember Blasingame's five Ps of negotiating: 1) patience, 2) preparation, 3) practice, 4) practice, 5) practice.
