Good Negotiators Do Not Fall in Love
Negotiating is a process of communication between two or more parties to reach an agreement on future behavior -- like when you're purchasing a business, leasing an office, hiring an employee, selling a product, or trying to get a two-year-old to take one more bite of peas.
Let's look at the two operative words in that definition: process and communication.
Process
Conducting a negotiation is more like running a marathon than sprinting. It's a process that takes time and usually involves multiple steps.
By accepting this reality in the beginning, you'll set yourself up to be more patient and therefore, more effective. Remember, impatience by one party is the other party's best negotiating leverage. And good negotiators never contribute to the other party's leverage.
Communication
In addition to the spoken word, there are many other ways to communicate in a negotiation. Punctuality, appearance, organization, and attention to detail, for example, are all types of communication. You could even communicate in absentia with the quality of the documents you produce.
Never underestimate the heightened awareness of every aspect of a negotiation. The slightest nuance, gesture, or facial expression can mean something. Make sure that all of your communication with the other party contributes to your negotiating objectives, not theirs.
Now let's look at three critical questions to ask yourself before any negotiation.
1. What do I want?
This might sound silly, but make sure you have this conversation with yourself. If you don't know exactly what you want, how will you know when to stand firm, and when to give something away?
And if the other party senses you're not focused, they will either disengage, or view you as weak prey and take advantage. Either way, you lose.
2. Why should the other party negotiate with me?
If a genie grants you one wish prior to starting a negotiation, ask him what motivates the other party. Armed with that important perspective you can get the other information you'll need in due time.
3. What are my options?
The best way to get what you want in any negotiation is if you don't have to do the deal. If you have an alternative to what's on the table, your ability to walk away from a deal that isn't moving in your favor will be greatly improved. It doesn't have to be perfect -- just an alternative.
By the time you find out what the other party is willing to do, your second choice might start looking pretty good. And merely knowing you're in a position to walk away will make you a better negotiator.
Which brings us to this: Don't fall in love. Whatever you do, don't fall in love with any deal unless you want to make the other party's day.
Love is for lovers -- this is business.
Write this on a rock... In business, everything is negotiable. The question is, are you a capable negotiator?
Jim Blasingame
Small Business Expert and host of The Small Business Advocate Show
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